Boston is surrounded by Islands, so over the weekend my husband, Dirk and I took a 15 minute ferry ride to an island to explore!
The island we visited is called Spectacle Island, because the original shape of the island looks like a pair of spectacles. The island is made up of two drumlins. A drumlin is a geographic formation that is left behind when a glacier moves.
From the island, one gets a beautiful view of Boston.
This island is the ideal setting for a horror movie, like I know what you did last summer or Halloween.
The movie will start with an aerial view of a ferry departing from Boston Harbour. Lots of tourists on board, everyone is cheerful and excited. One of the crew members (fat guy, thick American accent,his name badge says ‘Charlie’) gives a brief tour over a microphone as the ferry glides past interesting buildings and ships.
(This particular ship is some rich guy’s office. Not too shabby.)
The camera zooms in on a group of about 20 college students. The focus is on four kids sitting across each other on the upper deck- a blonde, dumb looking girl (you just know she’ll die wearing red lingerie), her boyfriend, a muscular jock wearing his baseball jacket (he’ll get killed first ’cause he can’t act or remember his lines), a geeky guy with glasses (he’ll be alive until three quarters into the movie, at which stage he’ll either:
a. Reveal his undying love for the heroine
b. Turn out to be the killer
c. Figure out a way to stop the killer
d. Get killed
An then the viewer meets the heroine. Played by either Jessica Biel or Jennifer Love Hewit. (Or depending on the budget, maybe someone from the Sewende Laan cast.) The heroine is the only person you can be certain to survive. (Because someone will have to play in the sequel, duh.)
On the way to the island, fat tour guard Charlie mentions that the only way to get off the island is via the ferry (Tum-tum-tum!) and that everyone must be ready to leave at 5pm. The four friends step of the ferry with the other tourists. They go straight to the changing rooms in order to put on their swim suits (the target group for the movie will be over-sexed Americans of course and a certain amount of skin must be shown). Oh, no! Stupid blonde chick has forgotten her swim suit at home! But that’s not a problem, because she can swim in her red lingerie!
On the beach the heroine is introduced to the hero (Zack Effron) who starts singing ‘Summer Lovin’ to her. While the whole beach burst into applause as they kiss and fall in love, Muscular jock gets killed in the changing room.
After the beach scene, everyone (except dead jock) goes on a tour of the island with creepy Ranger Nina. (Could she be the killer?!?)
Stupid blonde chick (still in her red lingerie) falls behind the group and gets stabbed while she’s picking up washed up glass pieces on the beach next to the Summer Shack hot dog stand.
(This green glass artwork is what Dirk and I affectionately call Die Glasperk)
On the tour Geeky smart guy stops behind the group and pulls the heroine towards him behind a bush and does…a. he reveals his undying love for her. She responds by: a. kissing him
b. kicking him
c. starting to cry
Actually, it can be any of the above. It’s not important in the greater story line. What is important is that, when they step out from behind the bush, the whole group is gone and Ranger Nina is lying dead on the ground with a rope around her neck.
At this point the kids realise something is wrong and there is a killer on the island! So, of course, they split up. The heroine goes to find her hero and Geek goes to find any form of help. When the heroine reaches the ferry, she finds a dead tour guide Charlie on board. Suddenly the hero appears, and together they realise that there is now no way to get off the island and they must spend the night there!
So, together with the geek (and few other characters that have not been killed yet) they put together mattresses on the floor of the visitor’s centre and get ready for the night. As thunder storm breaks loose and all electricity gets cut. During the night people disappear and get killed (including the geek) and by morning only the hero and the heroine remains. They manage to contact someone at the harbor who comes to collect them. As they sit together on the ferry back to Boston, Zack Effron tells the heroine that he has a crazy identical twin brother who used to live in a mental institution on the adjacent Long Island (making reference to the actual mental institution that used to be there years ago). The camera ends with a shot of Spectacle Island. A man looking exactly like Zac Effron stands there laughing like a crazy person.
(View from the North drumlin towards the South drumlin.)